We're solidly halfway through the season, so what better time to release power rankings? Things can change quickly, though, so you still gotta bring it week in and week out. And if you don’t like your team’s ranking…please throw me strikes down the middle when you play the Crows. That'll show 'em.
1. Wiffle House (8-0)
Who else? The Defending Dominators, the Wiffling Wonders, the Pinstriped Padres are Perfecto for the year. It’s hard to knock them out of this spot, even with the preseason injuries that have shortened their lineup. (24/7, huh? Not sure about that.) Their top six hitters all get on base well over half of the time, and that offense is all that Phil and Sam Thomas need to shut the door against their opponents. Good luck taking down this juggernaut.
2. Swingdome (7-1)
Swingdome bounced back from their only loss by out-scoring WCW by a score of 38-4, doing enough to move past the Stops into the #2 spot. The ‘Dome has found success thanks to outstanding offense; it has 20 dingers compared to the next-best team’s 10. Aaron Judge called into the league hotline and expressed some concern that he won’t have a chance at winning the MVP this year, given what Alex Hatch has done this season. Hatchmaster (ok, working on it) has a 0.00 ERA across 10 IP and a preposterous 282 wRC+ on the season. Pablo Sanchez could never.
3. Bilabial Stops (5-1)
The Stops fell back a spot after suffering their first loss of the season at the hands of 100% Real Juice. While seven-time All-Star and two-time MVP Paul Rogers continues to dominate on the bump (0.66 ERA across two starts) and at the plate (209 wRC+ and only 2 K in 23 PA), they’ve struggled to find a #2 starter behind him. Their offense is quite balanced, however, with 8 of their 9 hitters above average on the season. It’s hard to know who exactly to call out here, but shoutout to one of the league’s most improved players thus far, Gideon Manahan: His slash line of .600/.750/1.100 vastly outstrips his .323/.432/.484 from last year. Perhaps he’s the one with 100% Real Juice in his veins? Note: we do not conduct PED tests.
4. American Dreams (3-3)
It’s always a tough weekend facing Wiffle House, and the American Dreams are no exception. A 10-9 upset last weekend over the Swingdome was followed up by a pair of tough losses against the Breakfast Brigade. That said, there’s still plenty of room for optimism. Jeff Hanschmann has added 300 points to his slugging percentage and walked just thrice in 33 PA. The crucial question is whether they can figure it out on the bump, and their upcoming matchups against the Sheryl Crows will be massive as the two battle for a playoff spot.
5. Chicken n' Wiffles (3-3)
Perhaps the league’s favorite team — and your favorite weekend brunch — Chicken n’ Wiffles has already passed its win total from last season. I’m not sure if it was his Hall of Fame induction last summer, but Matt Pearson boasts an impressive .731 OBP to lead the team. His knuckleball hasn’t excelled on the mound quite yet, but I’ve been told that it flies better even as it gets hotter, so a second half resurgence may be in the cards.
6. Sheryl Crows (3-3)
It's your favorite band's favorite band's favorite bird! The Crows continue to strum the guitar and use a balanced approach to stay smack-dab in the middle of the standings. Captain Eric Sanford has a 191 wRC+ to lead the team, and three-time All-Star Harry Page-Salisbury has already surpassed his career high in homers, but perhaps the best development is Connor Donovan continuing his improvement. He’s lowered his ERA for three consecutive seasons, and in a league dominated by walks and control challenges, his 3% walk rate is preposterous. The key question to make this squad happy (which means it can’t be that bad): Will either Evan Gray or Drew Helmgren emerge as a capable second starter, and can they do it in time to face the Dreams?
7. 100% Real Juice (2-4)
Last Sunday's 12-2 victory over the Bilabial Stops has to feel good for Captain Gabe Showalter's guys, especially after a tough pair of games against Wiffle House. (At this point, you can always assume it’s a tough doubleheader against those guys.) They’ve found improvement on the mound — Andrew Brickett, aka The Brick Man, has cut his walk rate down to a sterling 5% while striking out 34% — but their offense hasn't quite hit its stride. Can they trade some of their contact avoidance for power and make a move up the standings?
8. Berserkers (2-6)
POW! A couple of series splits has helped captain Wallace Tillman and his merry band match their win total from last season. Naveen Rohila has picked up their two wins on the season and sports an 8.53 ERA, which is actually pretty decent in this offense-heavy league. They have a bye this week to rest up before a decisive two-game series against the Dreams.
9. Caught Cooking (1-5)
Perhaps the season highlight for ANY team is Caught Cooking's triple play against the Berserkers. That, combined with a low-scoring 4-3 win over the Berserkers, is what's propelled these newcomers thus far. It always takes a new team some time to figure out their rhythm on the mound, and we’ve caught a few guys cooking thus far, most notably Sam Matterazzo. Can these guys keep improving as the season continues?
10. West Coast Washout (0-8)
It's been a rough start of the season for WCW. The top of their lineup is buoyed by Andrew Winter and Michael Laudick, both of whom are well above league average, but it’s the rest of the order that's scrambling to find its groove. Perhaps more worryingly, their pitchers have struggled to find the zone. It's possible that as the summer heats up, the wiffleball will find its way breaking a bit less and finding its way on the zone. On the plus side? They'll always have the sickest jerseys in the league.
