In Neil Gaiman's American Gods, the soil of North America provides fertile root for the beliefs of those residing upon it. So potent is this combination that from it springs the Gods themselves, imbued with power by the size and vigor of their following. New Gods stride the continent, claiming dominion with a flick of their wrists. Old Gods find their way, carefully plotting their time to strike.
The dust and ditches of the Cowen Park ballfield, in tandem with our work and play upon it over twelve summer seasons, has raised one great dynasty, and then another. This Sunday, they meet in the World Series for the first time.
New Gods: Wiffle House
"Refuse to Lose" is supposed to be a metaphorical rallying cry — in a game as random as wiffle ball, even a highly motivated and talented squad should lose a game once in a while. The boys behind the counter, though, have been better than the margin for the last five years. Sure, they have dropped the rare game to the Bilabial Stops and survived a few close calls, but with a fourpeat already in the books it really seems like these gods don't bleed.
Liam and Reed McFeely sacrifice their bodies between the lines. Phillip and Sam Thomas climb the hill and breathe fire down it. Azor Cole and Dustin Diemond lengthen an exhausting lineup. Former MVP Quinn Thomas is still on the shelf, and they haven't missed a beat. And of course, it feels like every ball in play finds their shiny palms.
If there is any weakness, any Achilles heel for these New Gods, it is elite pitching. The Stops of past seasons had the arms to smother this fiery offense and allow the chaos god of plastic to take over. Even this season, Caught Cooking's Will Hippe held them to a mere four runs, and Swingdome's Alex Hatch kept them to one.
Whether the Old Gods can take advantage of this is the real question.
Old Gods: 100% Real Juice
Legends never die, but they certainly can suffer. After capturing the league's first back-to-back championships in 2018 and 2019, the Juicers endured the tides of life outside the lines. This culminated in a disappointing 2022 campaign, missing the playoffs for the first time, and another losing season in 2024. But since their ordeal they have been a squad on the rise, with their path back to the World Series granting a key piece of wisdom: longevity requires reinvention.
Epo Olivares transformed into a crafty front mounder with a dangerous bat. Adam Brickett won a Most Improved award as a reliable starter. Aaron Hunter returned to Seattle. Veteran journeyman Zak Kosher transferred in and led the team in RBIs. Gabe Showalter recovered from a gruesome playoff injury. Matt Rosenfeld, Sam LaCroix, Duncan Robinson, and Chris Balph rounded out the grizzled roster.
Epo, Adam, and Aaron in particular, with their defense behind them, are tasked with carrying the banner of the Old Gods. To upset the House they must pitch the games of their lives, limiting turns through the order and serving different looks. Gabe will also need to have an elite feel for when to deploy each pitcher, and perhaps Epo will invoke the first-ever playoff mound switch.
It is a narrow chance, and lately the House always wins. But it is a chance.
