The Sheryl Crows' season-long grit has produced an 11-7 record and their first ever playoff berth.
The Favorites
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Bilabial Stops (15-1)
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Wiffle House (13-1)
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West Coast Washout (12-1)
Powerful pitching. Hammering hitting. Fancy fielding. Ballsy baserunning. Each of these teams has flexed on the league, compiling nearly unblemished records. Incredibly these teams have avoided playing each other until these final few weeks, but the first matchup did not disappoint with the Stops and the House going to war.
Paul "Mister" Rogers was unable to House-sit this time, with the kids running wild around his neighborhood basepaths. Quinn Thomas held his own against the potent Stops offense to secure the 7-5 win. Unfazed and vengeful, Eddie Brown took the hill and absolutely dismantled the dangerous House hitters, handcuffing them to just one run on two hits. Sam Thomas pitched very well also, but nothing could be done as the Stops stormed for a 3-1 win.
West Coast Washout’s title defense has continued with little opposition, save for a hiccup against the RBI Steaks. Now they are about to face a ton of opposition, with both the Stops and the House to close out the season, and a makeup against Wiffully Ignorant to boot. The upside is that they control their own destiny in the fight for a first-round bye, as winning any four of their last five would secure the second seed. If any team is capable of this herculean task, it’s these wily veterans.
The Contenders
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Sheryl Crows (11-7)
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RBI Steaks (8-8)
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100% Real Juice (7-9)
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Skull Knights (6-10)
With eleven wins in the books and all their regular season games played, the Crows have clinched a playoff berth for the first time in their history! Overcoming offseason attrition, their crafty pitching staff of John Trupin, Grant Bronsdon, and Zach Gottschalk has performed with aplomb, backed by a patient lineup and a cromulent defense. Best of luck to them as the fourth seed!
This leaves three teams vying for the final two spots. The RBI Steaks have roared back from an 0-7 start, as Riley Brindle reached back in the Rainier Cooler Time Machine with a shutdown performance against the Washout. That display kicked off a full-on revival for Brindle and a 6-1 run for the Steaks, including a critical sweep of the Juice and split with the Knights. Their final series is against Chicken & Wiffles – they can punch their ticket with a split, and secure the 5 seed with a sweep.
Both the veteran Juice and the rookie Knights have had their ups and downs this season. In the home stretch though, the rookies have found some answers, with hurlers Jake VanWolvalere and Nick Cvitkovic absolutely shoving against the Juice. Javier Hernandez has also pitched well on the hill, grinding a win out of the Steaks. The Juice might have a one-game lead, but their last games are against a penthouse Wiffle House while the Knights fight in a basement against Wiffully Ignorant. Worse still, the Knights own the tiebreaker.
The Knights play on 8/7, so the Juice will know what they need to do when they play on 8/14. Until then, they are the world’s biggest fans of the Wigs.
The Spoilers
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Chicken & Wiffles (3-12)
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Wiffully Ignorant (2-13)
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Mighty Knucks (2-16)
Dealing with absences, injuries, and ineffectiveness, these teams have had to weather the season in their own ways. Unfortunately the Knucks have forfeited their remaining games due to challenges in many of their lives. Best of luck to them all, and we hope to see them back next season, in whatever form they can.
The Chickens and Wigs had themselves an extremely fun roll around in the dirt. Ben Campbell’s “Oops All Eephuses” approach for the Wigs was eerily similar to that of 2015 Matt Pearson, which was extra funny because he was pitching against 2022 Matt Pearson. The arts-and-crafty-bread approach worked on the impatient Chickens, who went down 13-12. (Pearson did get his own revenge with a beautiful eephus strikeout, which for narrative purposes was definitely against Ben. Live by the sword, die by the sword.)
Game two seemed much more anti-climatic, with Noah Jaffe striking down a warehouse of Chickens and his offense building a 6-0 lead off of Preston Sahabu. Then with incredible fury, the Chickens flocked back with nine runs in the final two frames, including clutch hits from Sahabu and Andy Siegel in the last inning to seize a 9-8 lead. Yet ultimately the storybook ending would belong to the Wigs, with Captain Matt Erickson stroking a two-run walkoff single to win 10-9. The Stops and the House watched intensely as they warmed up for their series, cheering wildly.
Both teams will have a say in the final playoff seeding, with the Wigs looking to disarm the Knights and wax the Washout while the Chickens eye a barnyard brawl with the Steaks.
