Sheryl Crows 7 || Mighty Knucks 6 (F/5)
It took a miraculous strand rate and a comeback for the ages, but it's done: The Sheryl Crows have finally recorded their first wins.
In a doubleheader sweep over the league newbies, the Mighty Knucks, the Crows showed off their stellar defense, strong batting eyes, and incredible luck, coming away with 7–6 and 20–13 wins in front of 22 fans at Cowen Park on June 2.
"Perhaps we weren't dominant," player-coach Eric "J.T. Salter Stan" Sanford commented after the game. "But we were lucky, and we were victorious. Isn't that enough?"
Barron Tanay setting a new standard for heads-up baserunning and a tremendous example for the Knucks.
Game One came down to the wire. A strong five-run first inning gave the Crows a lead they'd never relinquish — although they certainly tried. The Knucks managed to load the bases in every single inning, with starting pitcher Grant "Oppo Taco" Bronsdon getting out of major trouble thanks to double plays, clutch strikeouts, and strong up-the-middle defense. The Crows also showed off their power, with dingers from Bronsdon, Tyler "Uncle T" Racher, and Harry "Big Ginge" Page-Salisbury.
Despite playing a much shallower left field than usual, Zach Gottschalk made several great catches.
But the Knucks struck back, putting up a couple homers of their own from J.J. Nazzaro and Barron Tanay. Everything came down to one final at-bat, and really one final pitch. It's the stuff legends are made of: bases loaded, 3–2 count, one-run lead. That's when Bronsdon managed to record his sixth strikeout of the game on a pitch low and away.
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"My command wasn't on point," Bronsdon said in the understatement of the decade. "But it's all a learning process, and I know I'm on the up-and-up. Plus, we got the W."
Sheryl Crows 20 || Mighty Knucks 13 (F/4)
The second game of the doubleheader saw the pitching debut of John "Crafty Righty" Trupin. Despite his history as a D-III pitcher, Trupin struggled out of the gate, allowing seven runs in the first and allowing the Crows to fall behind 11–1 in the second inning. To say things didn't look good for Sheryl's bunch was an understatement.
John Trupin hung in there after a rough start to pick up his first win in his first start.
Yet the game — and, really, the Crows' season — changed thanks to an unprecedented offensive surge.
Another Page-Salisbury dinger, combined with good baserunning, great bat-on-ball skills, and outstanding plate control, helped the Crows score seven of their own in the second and 12 in the bottom of the third. Troop also settled down, allowing only a pair of runs in the final two innings.
"It's hard to overstate how bad we looked at first, and yet how dominant we were by the end," Matthew "Master of the Strike Zone" Roberson said. "A win is a win, and we pulled out two of 'em. I'll take that every day and twice on Sunday."
JJ Nazzaro made a loud introduction, swatting three home runs on the day.
The Knucks did finish the day with five homers, as Nazzaro hit two more in the nightcap, and their offense figures to remain superb as the season drags on.
Stops walkoff, then mercy Chickens
PRESTON SAHABU, Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles
Bilabial Stops 22 || Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles 21 (F/4)
Both offenses came out firing in the first inning, with each side racking up seven runs while the Stops’ Garrett Herfkins and the Chickens’ Matt Pearson labored through walks and singles. M. Pearson unleashed his frustration by leading off the top of the second with a titanic home run to left center, leaving the rest of his teammates so in awe that they failed to score any more runs. This would prove to be costly, as the Stops would strike back with five in the bottom of the second to take a 12-8 lead in this seesawing shootout. Not yet done, Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles rallied with six runs in the top of the third, punctuated by a go-ahead two-run single down the left field line from Preston Sahabu. Also not yet done, the Stops cranked out another six runs to retake the lead at 18-14.
"On Base" Andy Siegel continues to dive through fences and leg out hit after hit for Chicken 'N' Wiffles.
With so much offense, time was running short, so the fourth inning was declared to be the last. Down to their final out and down by two, the Chickens’ Andy Siegel poked a grounder over to third and beat the throw to score a run. M. Pearson continued his hot streak and punched a grounder up the middle, scoring Sahabu from second for a tie, then Munro walked up and punished a three-run bomb to take a 21-18 lead.
However given the nature of the game, that lead felt tenuous, and the Stops recorded three runs in the bottom of the fourth to tie it before Bobby “The One-Armed Pirate” Vadnais slapped one up the middle for the walk-off. He was appropriately mobbed by his teammates.
Bilabial Stops 16 || Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles 5 (F/4)
Nick Usoff is a bad, bad man. In his first two at-bats against Michael “The Big Angle” Constantine, he destroyed two home runs over the left field fence. Garrett Herfkins hyped up the first with one of his own for back-to-back jacks, and the Stops raced to a 5-0 lead. Like the first game, the home offense countered run for run, working singles and walks off a wild Usoff. Ed Brown relieved Usoff to stem the bleeding, quickly working a strikeout and a fielder’s choice on a contact play, nabbing a streaking Andy Siegel at home.
Ed Brown winds up as Bobby Vadnais continues to effectively limit the number of appendages in use both at the bat and in the field.
Usoff avenged his pitching with yet another home run off The Big Angle. This earned him so much respect that, in his next at-bat of the inning, Captain Matt Pearson opted for an intentional walk with two outs and first base open. Constantine was somewhat irritated at the disrespect, but the gambit miraculously worked with Herfkins popping out to third. Still it would not amount to much with Brown mowing down batters in the bottom of the second to hold a 9-5 lead.
In fact the Chickens would never really threaten again, as Brown only allowed a single runner on base for the rest of his outing, with Jesse S. Pearson working a walk. Everything else was a strikeout or good defense. Meanwhile the Bilabial Power Show continued in the top of the fourth with Brown and Usoff going deep to build a mercy lead. After Brown struck out the side in the bottom of the fourth, that was all she wrote.
The Stops have been putting on a power show all season, and Sunday was no exception.
100% Real Juice squeeze by, narrowly defeat ISO Pale
OTTO PAR, ISO Pale
100% Real Juice 32 || ISO Pale 0 (F/3)
The Juice swung and swung and swung, peppering both sides of the fence with hit after hit.
SEATTLE, Washington – It was quite the barn burner Sunday afternoon, as 100% Real Juice eked out a 32-0 victory over ISO Pale. Matt "Mike Trout" Morris led the Juice with 2 home runs and 8 RBI. Luke "Mike Trout" Moedritzer added 2 homers of his own, along with 6 RBI. Also contributing were Aaron "Michael Nelson Trout" Hunter (2 HR, 4 RBI) and Tim "Angels #27" Haggerty (2 HR, 4 RBI).
Matt Guindon continued his extremely productive 2019 campaign, hitting his third home run of the year.
Also, Aaron Hunter threw a no-hitter.
100% Real Juice 14 || ISO Pale 0 (F/5)
SEATTLE, Washington – It was quite the barn burner Sunday afternoon, as 100% Real Juice eked out a 14-0 victory over ISO Pale. Epo Olivares and Aaron Hunter each homered for the Juice, and Tim Haggerty went 4-4 at the plate.
Shane Huddlehuff got off to a great start on the mound before the Juice broke it open in the 4th.
Also, Adam Brickett threw a shutout.
The two teams will continue their heated rivalry next season. Those contests, like this author at the bar last night, will be blacked out on MLB.TV.
Steaks Sizzle in Sweep
STEVEN McGINLEY, RBI Steaks
RBI Steaks 13 || Hang and Bang 3 (F/5)
Tim Figuredo circles the bases after his first career home run.
As we reach the middle part of the season, teams are getting better, and roles are being defined within everyone's own wiffle universe. Little did the Steaks another pick up from the east coast would save their bacon again. Spencer Minder was keeping the Steaks pretty much at bay, until newcomer Tim Figuerido stepped up and hit his first home run (a grand slam) in his wiffle career. This blew the game pretty wide open in the 3rd, and additional home runs from Mitch Barham and Riley Brindle put the game out of reach for Hang and Bang.
Brindle spun it decent on the mound and was able to control his usual banter between him and the batter to a minimum to come up with another victory on the year. Jonathan Mack tagged Brindle for two hits and looked on top of the pitching all game. Maybe a sign of good things to come for Hang and Bang, but today was not their day.
RBI Steaks 17 || Hang and Bang 3 (F/4) The Juice got to Hang and Bang's Spencer Minder, including a 10 run 3rd inning to invoke the mercy rule after 4.
We have all been there. You are missing guys because someone decided getting married was important to them. You have guys missing because vacation seems to be more important than a doubleheader of wiffleball on a Sunday. The Steaks were in this very situation, as Nick Winn, their normal 2nd game starter was out of town. In an old school move, they went to Mitch Barham, who hadn't pitched in over a year. Jo Ann Fabrics must have been open, because this crafty lefty kept hitters off balance all day, despite not touching 60 (we think, no one was gunning).
Don’t let the score of this game fool you, Hang and Bang has some pitching potential, if they can corral the speed and find the zone. Many a Steak hitter were impressed with the fire of their bullpen guys. Steaks walked 20 times in this game and ultimately, that was the whole story. Eric Dang checked in with two RBI's for Hang and Bang, but with Barham keeping guys off balance, rallies were hard to come by, and the game ended in 4 as well.
